Demoman vs Bender
Description People love beer, but who also loves crazy people who loves beer. Interlude Wiz: Beer is what people mostly drink just because they like it. (Boomsticks opens a can of beer) Boomstick: And beer lovers would love to see other beer lovers fight for the glory for beer. Wiz: Bender B Rodriguez, bending unit 22 of Futurama Boomsticks: And Demoman the drunk Demolition of Team Fortress Wiz: Today Bender will not use his free will chip. Boomsticks: Basically that's god modded and cheating. Wiz: Anyways I'm Wizard and he's Boomsticks, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Bender (Cue Futurerama theme ) Wiz: In the world of Futurama, the future is amazing. Boomsticks: But one of the best deliverers is the Planet Express team Wiz: But the rudest and toughest of them all might be Bender B. Rodriguez Bender: Bite my shiny metal @$$ Boomsticks: As like my pet dog, Bender was created in a factory under the rule of a person called Mom. I mean what kind of name is Mom? Wiz: Bender was suppose to be scraped when one of crew members named Hermes decided to save his life. Boomsticks: Boy what a life saver. Thank this Jamaican citizen. Wiz: Bender would later grow and goto Bending school. Boomsticks: You know, he's goto start somewhere. Wiz: He later tried to kill himself in a sucide booth. Boomsticks: How are their such things, I mean that is just to insane. Wiz: But Phillp J. Fry pushed him away from the blades. Which would start their friendship. Boomsticks: Later they joined a delievery company called Planet Express. Wiz: During all these aventures, they had hell of an adventure. Boomsticks: I mean they even met the Simpsons. Wiz: Bender is also runs on alchahol which can allow him to breath out fire. Boomsticks: Holy mother%#*@! That is one of the most, badass's things I ever heard. Wiz: He has a holy bible to protect himself from only one shot from a bullet and knife stabs. Boomsticks: At least, he's Christian. Wiz: Whip Cream helps him blind opponents and a baseball bat for solo attacks. Boomsticks: Perfect for a sweet blinding and a swing to the head. Wiz: He can carry six spheres of dark matter which can weigh about 1000 suns. Boomsticks: Damn, how much he can carry? Wiz: The Sun is said to weigh 1.989 × 10^30 kg. Times that by 1000 is estimated, that Bender could carry at least 1.98900e33 kilograms. Boomsticks: Holy mother$%^& $*it, that's as big as my X wife. Wiz: But mostly he bends iron gurders which can take 177.5 tons. Boomsticks: But our beer loving friend still needs help from friends and is mostly a coward. Wiz: He also lacks brains and his laziness is what gets him often in trouble. Boomstick: Still if you need bending, you know who to call. Bender: I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Demoman (Cues: Team Fortress 2 - Archimedes) Wiz: Wiz: In the year 1850, an extremely wealthy entrepreneur passed away, leaving his family land and business to his two sons. But like brothers are prone to do, they ended up fighting over each other's land right off the bat. Boomstick: This went on for decades, and then the brothers began recruiting mercenaries to literally wage war. And that's when things really got out of control. (Cues: Team Fortress 2 - Drunken Pipe Bomb) Wiz: Each hired gun contributed with their own specialized expertise. Boomsticks: The Pyro burn people into crisps, Scout knocks skulls out with a bat, the soldier blasts and jumps with a rocket launcher, the Medic heals people with a healing ray, etc. Wiz: But none can be a more dangerous as the Demoman. Demoman: Slurred "...yer arses arse and I'm the grass man, punk yeah ya havin' heathen." Boomstick: As the same to me, Tavish Finnegan DeGroot was an orphan that was great at creating explosive. Wiz: Boomsticks you don't make bombs... Boomstick: Yeah I could. here I just created one with just sticks and rocks. Wiz: Oh o-.. wait what?!? Take cover!!!!! (explosion) Wiz: Oww. (Falls on the ground.) (2 hours later) Wiz: Anyways, Tavish went to join Team Fortress for money and Beer. Boomsticks: (Opens Beer) yup, my type of guy. Wiz: He was given a explosives gun so he could shoot sticky projectiles, and reguler projectiles and sticky jump. Boomsticks: I couldn't awesome enough, until he got a Goddamn sword somehow. Wiz: As the Demoknight, Tavish can use a sword and shield slicing through his opponants and block against other projectiles. Boomsticks: For his special, Demoman drinks a beer and can go completely insane with one glowing eye slicing people bit to bits. Now the glowing eye part actully reminds me of someone. Wiz: Demoman also most likely charges at his opponites which is useful against close opponants like Pyro or Scout but not against far foes like Sniper or Soldier. Boomsticks: He survived getting half of his face from a cast while blown up by a rocket. Wiz: His reguler bombs are bouncy and could bounce out walls for a sneak attack. Boomsticks: Stickymines could attach to opponants and useful for stick jumping though it does cause damage when he falls. Wiz: Now with everything in had, Travish still lacks brains as well. Boomsticks: Our drunkish friends could mostly get drunk, and his insanit may as well turn against his teammates. Wiz: Bu still this demolition is one tough son of a #%*& you don't want to mess with. Demoman: " '''What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I?" Pre Death Battle Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all. '''Boomsticks it's time for a Death Battle!!! Death Battle Travish was at 2fort just drinking when he heard a bang Demoman: What is bloody he** is going on? He then sees his dead teammates with their neck snapped and sees Bender get the intelligence. Bender: Come to papa suitcase! Then Bender gets hit by a beer bootle. *Bang* Bender: Ow!! What the-''' Demoman: If you want the suitcase, you have to go through me! '''Bender: Oh well suit yourself. Demo grabs his bouncy grenade launcher and shoots at Bender. *Miss* Bender: Ha! You miss! Demoman: No I didn't mate. It bounces back and hits Bender. Bender: Hey! Why I outta! Bender grabs his bat and smacks Demo in the head. Demo gets hit twice, but grabs the Demoknight an slashed Bender's bat into two. Demo than uses the Sticky Launcer and lauches it at Benders feet which blows him out to the top of 2fort. Bender was alive but injured. Demoman quickly got up and then uses the grenade launcher and launches it at Bender. Bender quickly grabs it and throws it at the gun which blew up the gun. Demoman: Eh! That cost a fortune mate! Bender quickly grabbed the whip cream and blinds Demo than cracks his arm bone. Demo starts screaming but Bender quckly smacks him with a bat and drinks a beer and set Demoman on fire. Demoman: Firrree!!! Bender than threw Demo through the walls. ''' '''Bender: Say goodnight buddy. Demoman: Not yet mate. Demoman drinks a beer and activated the eyelander. Demo went fast and impaled Bender through the chest and starts to cut Bender to pieces. Then "shing" Bender's head was separated from his head. Demo than walks away when-. Bender: Hey dumbo I'm still alive-''' "Shing!!!!!!!!!" '''Bender: Oh their you go. Demoman than watches Bender dies. Results '''Boomsticks: I thought Bender was gonna win. Oh well. Wiz:This was close due to Bender's strength and Demo's weaponry caused this battle to nearly end in a draw. '''Boomsticks: I mean Bender may have tanked explosions better than grenades and mines, but how did he die from two freaking ship explosions!?! Wiz: That is only because all oh his skin is blown off and all was left was his skeleton, that is why he could survive decapetated once. Boomsticks: I guess it was Knighty kinght for Bender ''' Wiz: the winner is Demoman Next Time A chainsaw sound is heard at Texas. Some robots peel of a person skin. '''Leatherface vs Sister Location Anmatronics Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:Human vs Robot themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:Bendy usser444